


Taken

by KyHasNoLife



Series: Maya and Carina Fics [43]
Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Kidnapping, and I asked her if the idea would make a good fic, because I'm basic, i dont know, lots and lots of angst, other things that might be important here?, sad Maya, this is dedicated to Katie bc Katie told me to dedicate it to her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyHasNoLife/pseuds/KyHasNoLife
Summary: "She was everything to me.”“She is everything to you.”“Pardon?”“She’s still alive, Maya."Or a fic in which Carina gets kidnapped
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Series: Maya and Carina Fics [43]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715209
Comments: 121
Kudos: 220





	1. Wishful Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> TW/// KIDNAPPING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe she could make nice and the tall man would just leave her alone.  
> Maybe that was just wishful thinking though."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of flashbacks because it's still setting up the story :)

**_13 Days Ago_ **

_ “I’m serious, Maya! I feel- what’s the word- uhm- soffocata?” _

_ “Suffocated?” Maya tried to give her girlfriend the word, the pleased brief pleased smile on her girlfriend’s face made correcting her 100% worth it. _

_ “Si! Seeing you with your team at dinner last night just made me realize that I don’t have that! I don’t have that group of friends who is basically family- Hell, Andrea is barely my family anymore and he’s my fratellino,” Carina explained. Maya sighed sadly and scooted closer to Carina on the couch before wrapping an arm around the brunette’s waist and pulling her down onto her own lap. _

_ “Join my family,” Maya mumbled before nibbling behind Carina’s ear. _

_ “What?” Carina laughed nervously as she positioned herself so she could see the blonde _

_ “Tomorrow, go into work, give Bailey your two weeks notice, come work on the PRT with Warren.” _

_ “Maya, this isn't funny,” Carina deadpanned. _

_ “I know, it’s not a joke. Warren always needs help on the PRT, you need a family, I need you to not be suffocating on me, so it’s a win-win-win.” _

_ They smiled stupidly at each other before Maya leaned in and kissed her girlfriend. _

**Present Day**

Maya bit her lip as she sat down in the office. She was off shift and sent to the official office of Dr. Diane Lewis. The soft beige couch Maya was sitting criss cross on felt vaguely empty, half on filled. Lewis was sitting across from the blonde and studying her face.

“How do you feel about what happened yester-” Lewis started to ask, but Maya’s eyes shot up to meet the brown ones in front of her and she quickly snapped, “No, we’re not doing that.”

“Maya, the only reason you’re here is what happened yesterday,” The therapist said cautiously.

“No, the only reason I’m here is I need you to say I’m okay to go back to work- Look, can we just talk about something else.”

“Sure, Carina, she’s your,” Dr. Lewis paused to look at the file she had on Maya, provided by the fire department, “wife, correct?”

“N-no! Well, yeah? Yes? Kind of.”

“She’s kind of your wife?” The former firefighter asked with a chuckle and an amused smile.

**_12 Days Ago_ **

_ “Bailey did not exactly enjoy my resignation request,” Carina said to her girlfriend as she walked out of Grey-Sloan. _

_ “But she-” _

_ “My last day is in 14 days,” Carina answered Maya’s question before the blonde had even said it. _

_ “Let’s go to the courthouse, get married,” Maya laughed as she said it. She wasn’t sure if she was laughing at her absurd request or just out of joy. Probably both. She sensed the other woman’s hesitation and quickly continued, “we wouldn’t have to hide our relationship at work- we already live together so taxes would be cheaper, I love you and uhm, we can still have an actual ceremony in a few years if we want to.” _

_ “Okay,” Carina agreed, quicker than Maya expected. They’d been back together again for almost a year now, so maybe it was too soon, but it was mutually beneficial. _

**Present Day**

“Legally, yeah, but we only did it so we could work together and not have to hide our relationship. In the future, when we’re ready, we were planning on making it a big ceremony thing, I still think of her as my girlfriend,” Maya explained nervously, afraid of being judged, she felt herself pulling at her fingers, a nervous habit she’d picked up from her girlfriend- well wife, if she was being technical.

“Tell me about her.”

“Okay, uhm, her smile,” Images of a laughing Carina, her dimples showing and the sweet curl of her lips, the happiness she feels from the smile, “Her smile- it was everything to me. It could make anyone feel better- lighten up a room,” Then Carina’s eyes the way Maya could spend the whole day looking in them, “Oh and her eyes! They were warm and they spoke for her most of the time. She was sweet, she would do anything for anyone, no matter how they’ve hurt her. She was passionate, she was everything to me.”

“She  _ is _ everything to you,” Lewis corrected.

“Pardon?”

“She’s still alive, Maya-”

“In 20 minutes, she will have been kidnapped for 24 hours, and the odds of finding her go down considerably. I would be looking for her myself, but apparently they want to see if someone will kidnap me too, so I have to have a police officer with me at all times. I can’t let myself believe she’s still alive or it’ll crush me a million times more when they finally take a guess and declare her dead.”

“So you’re giving up?”

“W-what? No!” Maya retorted, anger starting to bubble in her core. Who the Hell was this woman? Accusing her of giving up on Carina.

“When someone is so obviously the planned victim they worry about their significant other. I’m living in a hotel right now, but I’d rather be out looking for the only person- looking for the one person I love.”

“Did anyone see who-”

“I’m sorry- Can you just- can you just sign whatever stupid thing you have to sign so I can go back to work tomorrow?” Maya snapped as she stood up.

“I’m afraid that you’re not ready to go back to wor-”

“Okay, well then this is a waste of my time, I’m gonna go now,” Maya walked towards the door before taking a deep breath and looking at Dr. Lewis, “Thank you.”

**_Previous Day_ **

_ “Are you sure you’ll be okay? Carina still works there and-” _

_ “She’s not on shift right now, she’s probably at home,” Maya cut Vic off. The younger girl just nodded and kept driving. _

_ Bailey was the first to meet with Maya. Until she completely avoided the captain and went to talk to Jack and Andy. _

_ “What the Hell, Bailey?” Maya asked when the short woman passed her again. _

_ “Carina is in there, the man who started the fire is mad at her, we don’t know why yet.” _

_ “What? What does that mean?” The blonde asked, confused. _

_ “This isn’t an accidental fire at Grey-Sloan, it’s a planned attack against your new wife,” With that the chief of surgery stormed off, leaving Maya all on her own to process. And holy shit with a lot to process. _

* * *

**_Earlier That Day_ **

_ “Dr. Carina DeLuca?” A familiar voice asked as Carina grabbed some of the last things in her office that she wouldn’t need in the next two days. She whirled around to see a young man, 29, maybe, staring back at her. He was the husband of a patient she had a few days earlier. She had assured the chances were in favour of both mamma and baby surviving. Imagine the anger when neither lived. _

_ “Mr. Samuels, how can I help you?” Carina asked with a small smile. Looks like she was about to get her first lawsuit. _

**Present Day**

That was the last thing Carina remembered, now all she knew was she couldn’t see anything, she was awfully hungry, she had a pounding headache, and she had definitely breathed in some smoke. Had she already started working at 19 but gotten injured and forgotten? 

_ Maya _ .

Where was Maya?

Well, what might be a more important question to ask herself was  _ where was she? _

She couldn’t see anything, but the area smelled unfamiliar, not like Grey-Sloan or her and Maya’s apartment. All she could hear was something that sounded like creaking metal.

How the hell did she get here?

Mr. Samuels came into her office, and then- what happened next?

Carina tried to think, it was fuzzy. Nothing was there, nothing really. She remembered the same pounding headache she had now, and that was all. How was that all she remembered?

She tried to move her arms, but they were tied down to the chair she was sitting in. 

How had it taken her this long to realize she was sitting in a chair?

**_6 Day Ago_ **

_ “Dr. DeLuca, please, save them!” _

_ “Mr. Samuels, I'll do everything I can. Maybe you should call your therapist? Make sure he knows where you are, that you are okay,” Carina suggested, she knew the man wasn’t well mentally, his wife had told Carina that many times and warned her he might be a lot during her labour. It made matters worse this labour was way too early. _

_ Four hours later, Carina was walking out of an OR, tears stuck in her eyes. _

_ “Dr. DeLuca, where are they? Are they okay?” _

_ “Mr. Samuels, I am so sorry. I tried everything I could, but I could not save your wife. We delivered the baby, but after 33 minutes of resuscitation, we had to call time of death.” _

_ “You- you promised-“ _

_ “I said I would do my best,” Carina looked down sadly, this isn’t what she had wanted either. _

_ “You- Dr. DeLuca, you will pay for this,” _

_ Great, so now she had a lawsuit to be looking forward to. _

**Present Day**

Having the blindfold being yanked off to see the very same Ian Samuels staring at her. His brown eyes were more wild than she remembered.

“What the hell?” She asked quietly.

“I told you, you would pay for killing my wife and son!”

“I didn’t-“ Carina stopped when she felt a slap against her cheek.

“My wife shouldn’t have died, so I’m gonna get payback, slowly.”

“What does that mean?” The doctor asked, she was trying to stay calm, maybe she could make nice and the tall man would just leave her alone.

Maybe that was just wishful thinking though.


	2. Don’t know their place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya chugged the rest of her whiskey, she suddenly wanted to remember nothing. She wanted to forget everything. Though, at the same time, she didn’t want to forget any of it. Not Carina’s smile, not her laugh or her eyes, or the way she snored her cute, little, quiet snores.
> 
> Maya sighed. She didn’t want to forget, but thinking about it just brought pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what kidnappers do I'm sorry

“Please, just sign it, let me go back to work!” Maya begged the psychiatrist as she held out the paper in front of her.

“I’m sorry, Maya, I just don’t feel like you’re ready!”

“Dr. Lewis, please! I’m not allowed at the station! I’m almost always in my house- our house, unless I run all day, which I have done and then I get home exhausted, but I can’t sleep because my wife isn’t there! I need to do something that’s not at home! I need to make a difference somewhere!”

“If you can’t sleep then I  _ definitely  _ can’t allow you back at work,” the therapist shrugged.

“Please!”

“I’m sorry,” The psychiatrist sighed. Maya opened her mouth to protest, but just ended up closing it before turning on her heel and stomping out of the office, all the way to her car.

As soon as she was in her car, she dialed the number she had been calling everyday for the past two weeks.

“Hi, this is Detective Hayes, what can I do for ya?” The familiar voice rang in her ear.

“Hey, Detective, it’s uh- it’s Captain Maya Bishop, have you found anything?”

“Captain Bishop, how many times do I have to tell you? Relax. If I find anything about your wife I’ll call you.”

“I know, but-”

“You will be the  _ first _ to know, if I find anything.”

“Okay, thanks,” Maya sighed as she ended the call. She had known that maybe calling everyday was a lot, but she couldn’t help it. She needed to see her girlfrie-her wife. Everyone was calling Carina her wife, so she might as well. They were legally married after all.

When Maya got to their house she opened the door and felt something furry against her leg. She wasn’t terribly convinced when Carina told her they should get a cat, but the Italian had wanted a dog, except they worked too much to take care of one so she begged Maya to get a cat with her. Now they had a 4 month old kitten who had become obsessed with Carina.

“Hey, Romeo,” Maya sighed as she bent down and picked the cat up. Carina had chosen the name because “Bella, look at him, he’s such a charmer!” when they had gone to get him at the shelter 3 months earlier. Maya held the cat to her chest and sighed, “I miss her too.”

She just hugged the small calico for a few more seconds before letting him go run around the apartment for a little bit.

Maya imagined Carina with her. She imagined the taller girl, pressing her chest against Maya’s back, her shoulder finding its way to Maya’s head as her hands found her wife’s larger one’s and she would whisper, “It’ll be okay, amore. We’ll be okay.  _ You _ will be okay. I’ve got you.”

As quickly as the fantasy came, it vanished when Maya’s phone rang, it was Andrew.

“Have they found anything yet?” She heard his voice before she even had a chance to say “hello.” So much for greetings.

“No, I’ll tell you if they do,” Maya told him quietly before making her way to get a glass of whiskey and sit on the couch.

“Okay, cool.”

Silence.

And more silence.

Maya and Andrew had barely talked at all before all of  _ this _ happened.

“I’m gonna go looking for her tonight,” Andrew said randomly, breaking the silence.

“Andrew, no, you’ve gone almost everyday since she’s gone missing,” Maya tried to reason.

“And you’ve done nothing!”

“We have  _ no _ idea where she could be! She wouldn’t want us to not take care of ourselves to find he-”

“This isn’t about what she wants, Maya! We should be out looking!” Andrew cut her off.

“We don’t even know where to start and until we do, there’s zero point in doing anything!” Maya shot back.

“We are her family, Maya, we should be out looking!”

“I-I have to go, “Maya sighed before hanging up. She had wanted to search. She really had, but she also knew if she was unhealthy she’d never find Carina which was definitely not the goal. Talking to Andrew was new and weird and they didn’t exactly get along, but she was trying, she knew Carina would want both of them to not get sleep deprived and stop eating.

Although that’s pretty much what Maya had been doing, she just had been doing it at home instead of going around and looking for Carina. The blonde sent a quick text to Andrew to apologize for how she ended the call before she laid down and scrolled through instagram. She saw a bunch of new posts on the “Carina DeLuca” hashtag. She didn’t even know why she was following the hashtag. It just gave her a bunch of information she already knew about her wife’s disappearance, but still, it was nice to see so many people supporting Carina. It was also just another constant reminder. Although, it’s not like she could forget.

Maya chugged the rest of her whiskey, she suddenly wanted to remember nothing. She wanted to forget everything. Though, at the same time, she didn’t want to forget any of it. Not Carina’s smile, not her laugh or her eyes, or the way she snored her cute, little, quiet snores.

Maya sighed. She didn’t want to forget, but thinking about it just brought pain. The blonde quickly made her way back to the kitchen and grabbed the 6-pack of beer she had picked up from the store the other day.

1 hour and 6 beers and a few glasses of whiskey later, Maya was feeling woozy, but her mind was still on Carina. How the doctor’s hands felt on her body. If Maya thought about it enough, she could feel the ghost of her wife’s hands. Maybe she had drunk too much, but she really felt like Carina’s hands were on her body, like they were really there.

“Carina,” Maya mumbled. Maybe this wasn’t fake, it looked- it felt so real. Maya allowed herself to follow the slim girl to the bedroom. Maya fell into the bed and seconds later felt a body wrap around her. She fell asleep breathing in the smell of fresh lavender.

What Carina would do for a burger or something Maya always tried to get her to eat, but she would refuse. She had basically been isolated with the occasional visit of Ian. Her wrists were raw from all the pulling she had done at the ties. She was given the bare minimum to survive, water every few days, food once a week, and the most painful, video footage of Maya. Turns out when you lose the wife and baby of a psychopath he follows you home, sets up cameras in your house, and stalks you for a week before going to your work, starting a fire as a distraction, and decides to abduct you.

The only way Carina could keep track of the days is when she got food. Kind of. She hated this, not knowing anything. The day or whatever. Well, she saw how Maya was doing if the blonde was in the kitchen or the living room or somewhere visible from the little plant near the tv where Carina was assuming the camera was hidden.

_ Merda, had he watched them sleep together on the couch? Maybe they should stop doing that in the future. _ Well, if they ever sleep together again. She had just watched Maya drink way too much alcohol, play on her phone for a while before stumbling into the bedroom. The worst part was she knew Maya hadn’t been sleeping. She never tried to look at the video, but she always had a desire to see the blonde. No matter what. 

God, she missed Maya. All she could think about was Maya. And how disappointed Maya would be in her. She’d given up. What was the point in trying to escape? It didn’t work. She barely felt anything other than emotions about Maya.  _ God _ , she missed Maya.

She missed her brother too. She missed her brother and her friends and everyone, but she only felt bad about giving up when it came to Maya.

Everything revolved around her wife.

“Dr. DeLuca,” She heard a happy voice exclaim. Jesus, why did he sound happy?

“How has your day been,  _ doctor _ ?” He snided as he walked around the corner and crouched in front of Carina. The brunette looked at a wall and ignored him. Seconds later she felt a sharp slap across her face. Then, a rough hand cupped her chin and forced her to look at him, “I asked you a question.”

“And I didn’t answer,” Carina mumbled before she felt another quick slap against her face. She missed her dad at this point. Yeah, he slapped her, but he still cared about her. In his own, weird, twisted way, her dad loved her.

“You’re quite rude, Dr. Maybe that’s why my wife is dead because rude ass doctors don’t know their place.”

God, Carina just wanted to go home.

Maya woke up with a pounding headache. She had drank a lot since Carina was kidnapped, but maybe not ever quite that much. Well, Carina had gotten home last night. Wait, how had she though? She reached over to her girlfriend’s side of the bed and it was- empty? Empty and cold. Maya jumped up and looked around. There was nothing. Of course, she had hallucinated it. Dammit! How the hell d9id she hallucinate that!

Maya looked at the time, 4 am. Was it too early for a beer?


	3. She's Not Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days. Carina had been missing for 2 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days. They were still looking for her, and they had learned it was a Mr. Ian Samuels who had taken Carina, but they couldn’t find them. Maya was back at work, trying to return to her normal life- well, her normal life without Carina.

2 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days. Carina had been missing for 2 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days. They were still looking for her, and they had learned it was a Mr. Ian Samuels who had taken Carina, but they couldn’t find them. Maya was back at work, trying to return to her normal life- well, her normal life without Carina.

“Hey, Cap,” Andy said cautiously as she stepped into the office.

“What’s up?” Maya asked, looking up from the paperwork on her desk.

“You’ve got a visitor.”

Maya’s heart skipped a beat. She knew it was unreasonable, but her mind immediately went to Carina. Seconds later Carina- Carina’s brother walked through the door. The blonde’s heart dropped, how could she have even thought it was her wife. It was unreasonable.

“I didn’t know you were coming by this morning,” Maya looked at the tall man.

“Oh- yeah, I wasn’t going to, but I need to talk to her, and she’s gone, but you’re the next closest thing I have to a sister,” Andrew explained. Over the past month and a half, they’d been having dinner together three times a week. It was a way for them to check in, and make sure each was taking care of themself. Carina would want them to take care of themselves- and each other.

Maya hummed and nodded towards the chair across from her, “Please, sit.”

Andrew nodded nervously before making his way to the chair. As soon as he sat down and they made eye contact he opened his mouth to speak before laughing nervously and closing it. The blonde raised a confused eyebrow and Andrew took a deep breath before finally speaking with a nervous chuckle, “I’m sorry, this- this is just weird for me.”

“Me too,” Maya offered with a shrug and a shy smile.

“I need her to be alive. She’s my sister and I was an ass to her half the time, but- but she was still my sister.”

“I get it- I feel like-” Maya stopped herself with a sad laugh before continuing, “I feel soffocata without her.”

Andrew chuckled lightly, “We need to make sure you’re fluent in Italian when she gets back.”

“Did I get it wrong?” Maya sat up straighter, her eyes wide in fear of being incorrect.

“No! No, I just think it’d be fun, I don’t know,” Andrew rubbed the back of his neck nervously. It was a weird situation for the both of them, seeing the other always brought back memories of Carina for them both. 

“Yeah, yeah, uhm thanks for the other night, by the way. Usually I wouldn’t-” Maya stopped when she heard an annoying beeping.

“I have to get to work, I’m sorry about this,” Andrew said, gesturing towards his pager before getting up and heading for the door.

He was halfway out of the office when Maya stopped him with a stern, “Andrew.” He turned around to see his sister-in-law’s sad eyes staring back at him, “Don’t be sorry about it. You’re welcome anytime you need someone to talk to.”

He nodded before walking out. Andy stared from the reception desk confused, Maya had shut out everyone, had been rude, snappy, mean, but with Andrew she was nice? It didn’t make sense to her. Little did she know, it was because he was the only one who perfectly understood what she was going through.

The next day, as soon as Maya’s shift was over, she found herself on her couch with a glass of whiskey in hand.

She was numb. Not physically, but mentally. What mattered anymore? She wasn’t gonna get out. She was stuck. She saw Maya and Andrew together eating dinner on the couch sometimes, and the first few times it happened her heart started to flutter until she realized it.

_ They’ve given up. _

Of course, she wasn’t sure they had, but that’s what it felt like. Last time they’d had dinner together, she watched Maya break into tears about something Carina couldn’t hear, then she watched her brother pull her crying wife into his arms and after she had calmed down, she watched him press a kiss to her head. She wanted to be with Maya. She wanted to be the one holding her breaking down wife.

She had to stop caring. She had to stop watching the video, it just hurt too much. She didn’t want to feel any of it anymore. She was captive. They were moving on, taking care of each other. That was that.

She looked down at her bloodied limbs. The mental numbness helped with the physical pain. She was never stabbed anywhere important that could kill her. No, Ian was careful about avoiding her arteries, careful about keeping her alive. If he really wanted to do damage he could’ve. Instead he stook to cutting her limbs anytime she didn’t respond, or responded too snarkily for him. If she didn’t behave after she got a few cuts he would move to just punching her. Over. And over. And over again until she fell unconscious, choked up blood, or apologized. The last thing rarely ever happened though. She had no doubts her nose was broken. Maybe her jaw too. Definitely a few ribs. At this point, she probably had internal bleeding that should kill her soon enough. Soon enough, she should be out of this place. Even if it’s not the way she had hoped at first.

“Dr. DeLuca, hey, I just ran to the store, I’m gonna have to stop that for a little bit though. There was a wanted poster out for me, can you believe it?” Ian chatted away as he walked back into the dark room she’d been kept in for the last however many weeks.

“Congratulations?” Carina mumbled earning her a slap across the cheek. Shit. That was not the best feeling. Her jaw was definitely broken.

“This is bad!” He yelled, he clenched his fist as if he needed to punch something before turning to Carina with a malicious grin.

**_4 Days Earlier_ **

_ Maya sat on the couch, sipping her bourbon, studying the wanted poster. He had pale skin, dark brown hair, nearly black, downturned eyes, a crooked nose, and a rounded jaw. If she ever saw him- well if she ever saw him lord knows what she would do to him. He took the love of her life. She wanted to kill him. If she saw him, she wouldn’t, maybe beat him half to death, but not actually kill him. _

_ She heard her front door open and turned around to see Andrew walking in with a bag of takeout. _

_ “We have Italian takeout food tonight, I felt like we needed something new, an- Maya, why are you looking at that?” Andrew asked as he put the bag of food down before snatching the poster from her hands. _

_ “I have to memorize it. What if I see him? I’ll need to remember her face!” The blonde defended herself. _

_ “Maya, that’s bullshit!” _

_ “Hey-” _

_ “No! We’ve both had this face memorized since the moment we found out he took Carina! You’re just hurting yourself by looking at it! What will she think when she gets back and finds out you’ve just been wasting time looking at a face you already know by heart?” _

_ Maya didn’t respond, just shook her head before downing the rest of her glass. Maybe they weren’t 100% friendly, but she was trying. Carina would want someone to take care of Andrew. Maya put her head in her hands and just thought for a moment. _

_ “She’s dead, Maya,” Andrew sighed heavily before putting a hand on Maya’s shoulder. The hand only lasted for a split second though before Maya jerked away. _

_ “How the Hell could you say that?” She nearly screamed at him, tears starting to pool in her eyes. _

_ “She’s missing! She’s missing and they aren’t gonna find her.” _

_ “Get out of my house,” Maya mumbled. _

_ “No,” He said sternly. _

_ “Andrew, get the Hell out of my house!” Maya yelled as the tears started to fall. _

_ “No, Maya, I’m not going anywhere,” Andrew sighed as he moved to hug the blonde before pressing a kiss to her head. It’s what he would’ve done with Carina if she were breaking down in front of him. _

_ “She’s not dead,” Maya declared, but Andrew wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince him or herself. _

_ “She’s not dead!” Maya stated more firmly this time. _

_ “Okay, she’s not dead,” Andrew agreed. He really hoped Maya was right. _

_ “She’s not dead.” _

_ “I know, Maya.” _

_ “She’s not dead, she’s not dead, she’s not dead, she’s not dead, she’s not dead, she’s not dead,” Maya whispered over and over again. Maybe she thought the more she said it the more true it became. Maya kept whispering the little mantra over and over and over again until Andrew let her go and they sat down in awkward silence, not discussing what had happened. _

_ “She’s not dead,” Maya whispered once more, randomly, during the night. _


	4. Swordfish Rolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’d you say you were making again?"  
> “Involtini di pesce spade.”  
> “In-volt-eeny dee pash uh spa day? "Hey, I'm learning!"”  
> “I know, it was just ridiculous, if Carina was here to see that she would’ve been mad at us both.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lil Andrew/Maya relationship as well as a nice lil Marina flashback. This chapter is heavily Andrew/Maya centered.

Two days until Carina had been missing for 5 months. These had been the worst 5 months of Maya’s life, but she was finally adjusting to her new normal, she could finally fall asleep. She had gotten used to meeting with Andrew every so often. She was doing okay. She was thinking about packing up, moving out. Her and Carina’s place was just that. Her’s  _ and _ Carina’s. It felt empty. Everyday, Maya hoped she would wake up and Carina would be home, be back with her.

Detective Hayes had been told by his captain that the case had to be tucked away, it had to remain unsolved. Now, Hayes was working with the PI Maya and Andrew had hired to try to find Carina. They knew it was probably a longshot, but at this point they didn’t care.

“Hey, Maya, I’m cooking Involtini di pesce spade, it’s a classic Sicilian dish, but our mom had a special recipe that Carina was amazing at making. Guess it’s my turn to take over cooking it, it should be-” Andrew stopped when he noticed Maya was just sitting staring at her empty glass, rather, through her empty glass and at her ring (Carina had insisted that since they were legally married they should get rings, and Maya didn’t see why a little silver band could be a bad thing so she had agreed).

“Maya?” Andrew asked with a concerned tone, she took a breath and turned over to look at her brother-in-law.

“Hey,” She sighed.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just miss her,” Maya sighed.

“Me too,” Andrew sighed, he moved to press a kiss to Maya’s forehead. Over the past few months they had gotten into a very sibling-like relationship. If they were out to dinner and someone said, “You guys are such a cute couple!” something that had happened a few times now, Maya would just laugh it off and say “No, he’s my brother,” even though it hurt like shit. Anyone assuming she was a couple with someone who wasn’t her wife.

**_8 Months Ago_ **

_ Travis, Maya, Vic, Carina, and Dean were out to dinner. Travis, Vic, and Dean crammed into the booth on one side of the table while Carina and Maya had sat on the other side. Despite there being extra room on their side, Carina was squished against the wall and Maya was all over her. Maybe they were all a little drunk. Maybe very drunk. Jack, Andy, and Sullivan had all been too drunk and didn’t want to go to the little diner with them. _

_ At some point, Maya made a remark and Travis reached across the table to grab Carina’s hands, “How do you deal with her?” He asked and Carina just chuckled as the waitress came out. _

_ “Oh my goodness, you two in the corners look like such a cute couple! How long have you two been together?” She asked as she placed down the waters everyone had ordered. _

_ Carina and Travis looked at each other before breaking into laughter so did Dean and Vic, but Maya wasn’t nearly as amused. _

_ “No, no,” Carina said with laughter before pulling her hands away from Travis’ and putting one of in one of Maya’s and the free one on her girlfriend’s thigh after seeing how bent out of shape she was with the comment, “We’re not together,” The Italian said gesturing her head to the doe eyed man across from her. _

_“Because 1. Maya would kill me if we were and 2. I’m gay, I don’t even like women,” Travis laughed and Vic hit him while laughing herself, “Trav don’t you think you being gay is more important than Maya killing you_ _!”_

_ The drunk friends were all laughing except Maya who had a scowl on her face. _

_ “Excuse me, but I need to use the restroom,” Carina said before squeezing Maya’s hand, “Come with me bella?” _

_ The blonde just nodded silently and almost as soon as they were there, Carina locked the door and pushed Maya against it. She quickly put her lips on Maya’s neck before moving them to just against her ear and whispering, “I love you.” _

_ The blonde just nodded and then Carina undid the firefighter’s belt and started kissing down her body over her clothes. Each kiss followed by a whispered, “I love you,” from the taller girl. _

_ “I love you, and only you,” was the last thing Carina whispered before getting lost in her girlfriend’s body. _

**Present Day**

“What’d you say you were making again?” Maya asked to get herself out of the memory.

“Involtini di pesce spade,” Andrew answered before getting himself set up in her kitchen.

“In-volt-eeny dee pash uh spa day?” Maya tried and Andrew just laughed at her, “Hey! I’m learning!”

“I know, it was just ridiculous, if Carina was here to see that she would’ve been mad at us both,” He said, it started with a chuckle, but eventually he realized what he said. He looked over and knew Maya had realized it too.

_ “If Carina was here to see that.” _

That’s something you say about someone who’s dead.

“She’s not dead Andrew,” Maya stated firmly.

“I know! I’m sor-”

“She’s not dead!”

“Okay.”

Then, Andrew started to cook silently. Romeo hopped up on the couch with Maya and nuzzled into her neck. He had also missed Carina, but had pretty quickly gotten used to only Maya.

The blonde pet the cat who started to fall asleep while sitting on her neck and she just chuckled.

“What’s uh, what is in-volt-eeny dee pash uh spa day?” Maya asked, breaking the silence while continuing to pet the now rather large cat.

“Involtini di pesce spade is swordfish rolls,” Andrew explained as he started cutting something up.

“Oh! Cari made those for the two of us before!”

“Did you like it?”

“Yeah! They were amazing!

“Well, she’s a much better cook than me, so hopefully mine are okay,” Andrew joked.

A little while later (after Romeo had woken up and run off to play somewhere), Maya and Andrew were sitting at the table eating.

“I felt bad the other day when someone thought we were dating,” Maya said as she picked at the food. Andrew was an okay cook, but Carina’s were 10x better, based on the way the Italian picked at his food as well, he agreed with Maya.

“Me too. She would’ve barked that waiter’s head off saying ‘Mio Dio! Can we not have a cena di famiglia without people assuming mia moglie e mio fratello are dating?’” Andrew shrugged before his pager went off.

“Maya, I have to go, I’m so sorry about leaving your kitchen a mess, bu-”

“Go, Andrew, it’s fine.”

The brown haired man nodded before running out and leaving Maya alone. The blonde started to clean up, but after a little bit, it all became too much. She just sat on the couch. Before she knew it, she was sobbing. All she wanted was to be in Carina’s arms. All she wanted was to see Carina again.

Carina’s heart broke into a million pieces as she saw Maya broke down a little after Andrew had left.

She was gonna get out of here. She had to.

The next day, Maya had gotten up, gone to work, had a little breakdown in her car only to get into her office for Dr. Lewis to tell her to go home. The blonde sighed angrily after putting up a little bit of a fight, but as soon as she was back in her car, she slammed her fist against the horn.

She went home and almost immediately fell asleep.

30 minutes later, Maya awoke to her phone ringing, she didn’t look at the contact, just answered and put it on speaker, “Hello?”

She only heard heavy breathing, no one seemed to be there though. What the hell was this? “Hello, is anyone there?”

“Maya,” Her wife’s voice rasped out from the other end of the line. Holy shit.


	5. A phone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you,” Carina rasped out and Maya’s heart melted into a million pieces.
> 
> “I love you too, I love you so much,” Carina heard her wife whimper from the other end of the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s some purposeful repeating from lathe end of last chapter here, just stick with it :)

Maya tried to look presentable while walking into work, but having just spent five minutes in her car, sobbing about how her wife went missing almost 5 months ago, it wasn’t easy. It was crazy hard, actually.

When she walked in, Dr. Diane Lewis was sitting next to her desk and waiting for her.

“What are you doing here?”

“You’re not mentally fit to be working here right now.”

“Wait- wait what? Did they send you here to fire me? Y-you can’t fire me! I’m going through trauma! I’m working through it though, and I-”

“You’re not fired, Maya, just out of service for a little bit. Go home, get some sleep, please.”

“You can’t-”

“I did.”

Maya hadn’t expected to just fall into bed and fall right asleep, but she did. Maybe Diane was right, maybe she needed the time off.

After seeing Maya on the monitor the night before, playing the feed of her in their living room, by herself, sobbing almost as soon as Andrea left, broke her. She had to get out of here. For herself, for Maya, for her brother, she had to get out of here.

She had a plan. She had a plan now. She would disbehave, she would get him to stab her. If she got his knife in the right place, the little bit of stretch room her thinned wrists had would be incredibly useful.

“Doctor DeLuca, I have a fun day planned for us,” Ian exclaimed as he walked in he placed his mobile phone where he usually did near the monitor.

Carina ignored his presence. She could see Maya today. Holy- she might see Maya today.

He slapped her, obviously not pleased with being ignored, but Carina continued to pretend he wasn’t there.

She could see Maya  _ today _ .

He grabbed a knife from his belt.

It was hovering right over her hand.

His knife was exactly where she wanted it. 

Now, if only she could-

“Ung,” Carina whimpered as she pushed her left hand up and the blade went straight through it, she was hoping she could avoid piercing any nerves, but had the feeling she had failed. She knew though, Ian always felt bad, he never let her bleed for long.

“Dammit! Stupid bitch! Where do you get off trying to take this into your own hands!?” Ian snarled before running out of the room to get bandages.

As soon as he could no longer see her, Carina bent over to use her mouth and pull the knife out of her now very bloody hand. She dropped the knife close enough that with the leighway her right hand had she could grab it and cut the ropes on her wrist, she then used her now free hand to cut the ropes on her left one.

She grabbed a piece of her torn shirt and ripped it off before wrapping her hand and running to the mobile phone near the monitor. She dialed the 1st number she knew by heart.

“Hello?” A familiar sleepy voice questioned. Carina’s heart stopped, she couldn’t speak.

“Hello, is anyone there?” The voice asked again.

“Maya,” Carina rasped out relieved.

30 minutes later, Maya awoke to her phone ringing, she didn’t look at the contact, just answered and put it on speaker, “Hello?”

She only heard heavy breathing, no one seemed to be there though. What the hell was this? “Hello, is anyone there?”

As soon as Maya heard it, her heart stopped. She stopped. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t breath. Holy shit. She was not expecting a very raspy Italian accent to say her name.

“Oh my god, Cari, baby, are you okay? Where are you?” Maya asked as she sat up a million questions coming to mind.

Carina heard silence and then a relieved breath and then her wife moving around as she said, “Oh my god, Cari, baby, are you okay? Where are you?” the sleep was gone from Maya’s voice, and suddenly Carina felt bad.

“I’m sorry for waking yo-”

“Love, don’t worry about it- wh-where are you?”

Maya noticed it right away, the raspiness of Carina’s voice. She needed to be with Carina right now.

“It’s somewhere dark, I-I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

“Babe, don’t be sorry, okay? I’ll find you,” Maya told her wife. She wanted more than anything to be with Carina, holding her right now, but she couldn't yet. She sent a text to Andrew, telling him to call the police, that Carina called her.

“I love you,” Carina rasped out and Maya’s heart melted into a million pieces.

“I love you too, I love you so much,” Carina heard her wife whimper from the other end of the phone.

“Uhm, he has a camera in our living room. He’s had it since before he took me. I think we haven’t moved so that he can stay close enough to have the data uploaded,” The Italian told her wife. It might be useful for Maya to know.

The door opened to the dark room. Ian’s face went red when he saw Carina. She didn’t even pick up on what Maya was saying.

“Where? Carina? Carina, where is it in the living room?” Maya asked desperately, but to no avail.

Carina whimpered as she dropped the phone and was picked up by the hair before thrown back into the metal chair painfully. Ian started to punch, slap, kick her, and just do anything to hurt her.

Maya then heard a whimper and then a thud, and then a pained squeak that could’ve only come from her wife. She then heard nothing but skin hitting skin for a minute.

Throughout the minute she kept calling out here wife’s name, despite knowing it was probably useless.

She heard an aggressive-

“Who do you think you are?” Ian screamed at Carina before slapping her again. Her jaw stung. There was no way it wasn’t broken at this point. And hey, her hand was still bleeding.

“Carina!” Maya tried yelling again through the phone, tears starting to pour from her eyes.

“I’m sorry!” Carina cried out. She couldn’t take it anymore. After hearing Maya’s voice, she couldn’t take the being beat anymore. She wanted to be with her wife more than anything.

Hearing the way her wife screamed “I’m sorry” made her heart shatter. If she could hop through the phone and be with her, she would, she would give anything to be with her right now.

She had heard someone beating Carina and she was powerless against it.

She got a text from Detective Hayes saying he was there. She quickly ran to the door and let him inside. She muted herself on the phone and explained to the detective what was happening. Within a matter of minutes, the camera, hidden near the little fake plant in the corner, was found. The camera and her phone were both taken to try to track them. Leaving Maya, alone, in her and Carina’s empty home, to process whatever the fuck just happened.

It all happened so quick, one minute, Ian was apologizing and bandaging her hand, the next everything was bright, and then police officers were coming in, and then Maya ran in, Andrea right next to her, both of them running towards Carina. Then, her wrists and feet were being untied as Andrea crouched down next to her and grabbed her hand and Maya was crouching down right in front of her, happy tears in the sky blue eyes.

Her face was bruised, her nose definitely broken, her jaw looked out of place, her whole body was cut up and bruised and God, she still looked beautiful to Maya.

“Hey, beautiful,” Maya whispered, out of breath from seeing her for the first time in 5 months.

“I look terrible,” The italian mumbled sleepily to her.

“My love, you’ll always look beautiful to me.”

Carina nodded, obviously accepting the explanation before sliding out of the chair and into Maya’s arms.

“I love you both,” Maya heard mumbled into her shoulder.

“We love you too, Carina,” Andrew said as he started to play with some of the girl’s hair.


	6. Start of Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya went to Carina’s room as soon as she was allowed, the brunette looked so unlike herself. She hadn’t really been paying attention before, but Avery was right, she could see every bone, every muscle that had definitely deteriorated, there wasn’t an ounce of fat on Carina’s body. Maya shook off her concerns about Carina’s weight and sat down at the side of the bed. Little did she know, it was the same place she would sit at for almost the entirety of two weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER! I have no idea about the medically stuff, I’m not a doctor

“Carina, come on, let them check you out,” Maya whispered into her wife’s hair.

“Just hold me a little longer,” Carina mumbled into Maya’s neck. They were still on the floor in front of the chair. Andrew had been talking to the police, telling them what Carina had told him and Maya in the last 30 minutes, while Carina just clung to Maya.

“I’m sorry, it took us this long to find,” The blonde said as she kissed the doctor’s head.

“It’s fin- OW MERDA!” Carina shouted, she had tried to yawn, her jaw didn’t exactly agree with that.

“Okay, let’s go,” Maya told the Italian, she didn’t even give Carina a chance this time, she just picked her up and walked her over to the paramedics.

“Okay, let’s get her to Grey-Sloan,” One of the paramedics took her from Maya’s arms and placed her on the gurney, almost as soon as she was lying down, she fell asleep. Maya guessed the lack of sleep over the past few months was the reason for that.

“Andrew, we’re going to GSM,” Maya told her brother-in-law who nodded before heading over to the rig.

“What are you guys doing?” The other paramedic asked confused.

“Going to the hospital with you,” Andrew stated as if it was the most obvious thing.

“There’s only enough room for one of you.”

“I’ll meet you at the hospital, she’s your sister an-”

“No, Maya, you’re the love of her life, she would rather be with you,” Andrew said before hopping out of the ambulance.

Maya watched the paramedic quickly wrap Carina’s hand to try to put pressure on the bleeding. The blonde hadn’t even realized how much Carina’s hand was bleeding in the 30 minutes she had been holding the girl.

“Okay, I think she has broken ribs, a broken jaw, broken nose, and her hand is banged up pretty badly,” The paramedic in the back, Adams was the name on her uniform, said.

“She has nerve damage in it, her grip wasn’t strong, her pinky and ring fingers don’t have the same range of motion,” Maya informed and Adams nodded appreciatively.

“I can’t really do anything else from here, so we ju-”

“We wait, I know. I’m a first responder.”

“Oh, okay, cool.”

“Yep.”

“There’s blood all over your neck, want a wipe?” Adams asked kindly and Maya quickly reached up to the side of her neck where Carina’s left hand had been.

“Uhm, no I’m fi-” Maya stopped herself when Carina started crashing, “starting CPR,” the blonde declared as she got on top of the brunette and started pressing on her chest. This couldn’t be the end.

**_An hour or two ago_ **

_ “We’ve found her location, she’s at an abandoned warehouse owned by Samuels’ dad’s company 10 minutes away,” Hayes informed her. _

_ Carina was 10 minutes away the entire time. She was 10 minutes away and Maya never found her. Worst wife of the universe award goes to her. _

_ “Hey, it’s not your fault, no one could think to look there,” Andrew tried to reassure her, but she just shrugged him off. 5 months. 5 months and 10 minutes away. _

**Present**

“C’mon switch out,” Adams tried to insist.

“I’m fine, just- how far away from GSM are we?” As if Maya had predicted it, the rig pulled to a stop and the doors opened.

“34 year old female, suffering from multiple broken bones, probably internal bleeding, a hand laceration that most likely caused some nerve damage, and currently she’s been down for three minutes,” Adams told Bailey, Amelia, Link, and Avery as they started to pull the Gurney out.

“Bishop?” Bailey asked, surprised when she noticed Maya pounding on her wife’s chest.

“Get off her, let us take over,” Link told her but Maya just shook her head. Next thing the blonde knew, there was a kind hand on her back guiding her off of the gurney as Avery started to take over compressions.

“Maya, Carina is one of my friends. I am- I’m struggling with this, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but let us treat her without getting in the way or compromising it, okay?” Amelia asked, her hand still on Maya’s back. The blonde nodded. They ran inside to the trauma room where Carina was.

“Okay, I want a head and abdominal CT,” Teddy ordered. Maya had no idea where she had come from. Link was currently stitching up her hand.

“No, we should use an abdominal ultrasound, if there’s blood, we’ll know, we have no reason to believe there’s any brain trauma, we shouldn’t waste time on CTs. She needs an NG tube, fluids, restore her body before we even consider surgery,” Bailey argued.

“Bailey, I disagree, I think we should get a full body CT. We need to learn the full extent of her injuries, and get her into surgery,” Amelia disagreed.

“Look at her! She was already so skinny before, no more than 125 lbs. Now, there isn’t an ounce of fat  _ or _ muscles on her body. You can see every one of her ribs, including the broken ones, her face is hollow, her hands are bony- but she needs a reconstructive surgery on both her nose and jaw,” Jackson said, surprisingly calm as he stitched up a laceration on her thigh.

“Do a CT,” Maya said quietly from the corner.

“What?” Amelia said from the other side of the Trauma room.

“I’m her wife, I get the say right now, get all the CTs or whatever, and if she needs it the surgeries,” Maya explained.

“Maya, she could- the surgeries can kill her with the state her body is in,” Link explained.

“Dammit- I know! I know! I know, but doing nothing- at all, letting her die. That’s- Get the CT, then whatever surgeries she needs,” Maya told them.

20 minutes later, she was sitting with Andrew in the waiting room when Jackson and Amelia came out.

“Okay, she has immense bleeding in her abdomen, her brain was fine apart from a skull fracture, but there’s nothing we can do about it, I will repair her nose to get it completely back to the old look, and I’ll have to repair her jaw as well.”

“I’m gonna try to reverse the nerve damage in her hand while Link stabilizes the broken ribs with titanium plates and screws, and Bailey and Dr. Wilson will repair the damage done to her liver and pancreas.”

“Can her body take it?” Andrew asked and glared at Maya. He wasn’t exactly happy to find out she was okay putting Carina’s body under that kind of stress.

“Honestly, probably not, it would be safer to save the elective stuff, nose, jaw, ribs, for after her body has had some time to heal,” Amelia said which quickly piqued Jackson’s attention.

“The jaw and nose aren’t elective, both have been broken for months now, she’s been living in excruciating pain!”

“Do what you can, while you can, if you can safely fix her jaw, do that first, then ribs, then nose,” Maya told them. The doctors nodded and walked off.

“You can’t just keep making decisions like this without me!” Andrew told her off almost instantly.

“She’s my wife, I’m trying to do a mix of what will keep her alive and keep her happy.”

“Who cares if she’s happy right now? As long as she’s alive-”

“Andrew, do you even hear yourself? She hasn’t been happy in months, how can you not care if she is?”

“Look, I- I’m gonna go check on a patient,” He shrugged before walking off.

And then there was Maya. She sent a quick text to Andy and Vic, just updating them on what was happening. She also texted her mom. She didn’t know why, but she really wanted to see the older Bishop right now.

Not long later, her best friend’s were sitting across from her as her mom sat next to her, Maya felt her head on her mom’s shoulder as she tried to take comfort in the older woman's presence. It was weird for her, but with Carina she had gotten better at leaning on people, so now, here she was, literally leaning the side of her body into her mom’s.

Five hours later, Katherine was still there, but due to a 5-alarm, Vic and Andy had to leave and Bailey walked out to update them on the surgery.

“She’s alive, in a medically induced coma. Her body needs time to heal, she’s currently hooked up to an IV bag for fluids and we inserted an NG tube to treat the malnutrition. We stopped all the bleeding, and Avery got into repair her jaw, when she wakes up, she won’t be able to talk because we have to keep her jaw wired down so the bones can properly heal. As soon as her body can handle it, Avery and Link will get in to finish the nose and ribs.”

“Okay,” Maya nodded slowly, “What about the nerve in her hand?”

“It appears that she will have 100% recovery, but we won’t know until she wakes up. We wanna keep her in the coma for at least a week just to restore her body,” Bailey explained.

Maya went to Carina’s room as soon as she was allowed, the brunette looked so unlike herself. She hadn’t really been paying attention before, but Avery was right, she could see every bone, every muscle that had definitely deteriorated, there wasn’t an ounce of fat on Carina’s body. Maya shook off her concerns about Carina’s weight and sat down at the side of the bed. Little did she know, it was the same place she would sit at for almost the entirety of two weeks.


	7. Marry me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Marry me?’ Carina smiled goofily, the metal brackets and elastics keeping her jaw shut showing. Maya laughed and enjoyed the restricted smile from her wife, that might’ve been the first time Carina had smiled since she’d been awake. Maya watched as the Italian quickly covered her smile with her hand.  
> “No, I wanna see it,” The blonde told her as she moved her hand from her mouth. She saw Carina smile shyly and she couldn’t help but grin, “You’re so beautiful.”

Maya’s back hurt like shit. She had been sitting by the side of the bed for three weeks. Carina had woken up, but she had tried to pull the NG tube out and tried to undo the wiring on her jaw. She had absolutely no desire to be in the hospital the waybed another minute. They had to sedate her, but eventually once it wore off, Carina just tried again, so much so that she ended up ripping her stitches and needing to get another surgery that she wasn’t yet strong enough for and needing to be put back into a medically induced coma. Hence, the reason why Maya had been by this stupid ass bed, hunched over with her head on her wife’s lap and her back hurting like shit.

Maya sat up and moved some hair behind Carina’s ear.

“Coffee delivery for my sister from another mister,” Andrew skipped into the room with two coffees in hand. In his scrubs. Maya was upset that he was allowed to work and she wasn’t yet. Although she was gonna return to work next week. Maybe she was jealous that he could still be here with Carina, even when he was working, and Maya would have to leave the hospital.

“Ooooh, give me!” Maya begged as she reached for the coffee from Andrew.

“Alright, I have a consult in the ER, I’ll see you a little bit when I can,” Andrew told Maya before pressing a kiss to his sister’s head and leaving the room.

Maya looked at her wife. Carina hadn’t gained any weight back while being in the hospital, the NG tube in her nose was making it so she wasn’t losing any either which was good. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on Carina’s body. There was barely an ounce of fat  _ before _ she got kidnapped and barely ate for months.

5 weeks since Carina had been hospitalized. Maya was working again, and it was weird. She barely went home. She would go to work, go home change, shower, feed Romeo, pet him for a little bit, clean his litter, and then went back to the hospital until an hour or two before her next shift, went home, fed Romeo, gave him some attention, eat food, went back to the station, and then repeat.

Carina was awake, her jaw was still wired shut, but she had just let it happen now. Carina wrote little notes to Maya on a white board she had in her office.

Today’s question of the day, in beautiful cursive, was ‘ _ How’s mio gatto?’ _ Of course, Carina wanted to know how Romeo was. In the first 3 days she had been awake, the questions had been more about  _ ‘What’s the day?’ “How are you?’ “Please, amore, can you tell me you love me again?’’ _ Stuff like that.

“He’s good, he misses you,” Maya said before pressing a kiss on her wife’s head.

Carina rolled her eyes and wiped the board clean before writing, ‘Amore mio, you suck at details,  WHAT ELSE?? ’

“Ouch,” Maya giggled before taking off her shoes and crawling into the hospital bed with her wife, “You’re rude, but okay. He misses you. Him and I have become best friends though, I think he moved on from you honestly.”

Carina glared at her wife and tried to scrunch up her nose before wincing.

“Oh, babe, as much as I love your little pout, your recent nose job doesn’t,” Maya smiled and Carina glared at her again before hitting her shoulder, then writing  _ ‘It wasn’t a nose job!!!!!! My nose was broken! I needed surgery to fix it!’ _

“I know cutie pie,” Maya sighed before pressing a very soft kiss to Carina’s nose, “I’m just playing around.”

_ ‘I am NOT cute!’  _ Carina wrote before furrowing her eyebrows angrily.

“Okay, I’m sorry lovebug,” Maya smirked before grabbing one of Carina’s hands and pulling it to her lips to leave a soft kiss. It was the bandaged hand.

“Oh, Amelia said you’ll need another surgery to perfectly fix the nerves, but she can do it as soon as possible, Bailey said you just need another few days to recover from your last abdominal surgery and then you can get it,” Maya told Carina before kissing her hand again.

_ ‘I don’t want another surgery’ _ Carina wrote quickly.

“Baby, c’mon, your nerve is dying, it needs to be fixed sooner rather than-” Maya was cut off by lips pressing against her own. The worst part about Carina’s jaw being wired shut is they could never kiss her with tongue. Although, would Carina even want that? After Maya didn’t notice her 10 minutes away for 5 months, would Carina want an actual kiss? Would she even want Maya? The blonde shook the thought out of her head as Carina pulled away, and looked down to see  _ ‘Where’d you go just now?’  _ on the whiteboard.

“Oh- uh- Just thinking. When you get home you might murder me, the place is a mess,” Maya lied, she was a compulsive cleaner, both her and Carina knew that. Plus, Carina had seen her the whole time.

_ ‘I love you so much’ _ Carina wrote as she noticed the upset look the blonde was trying (and failing) to hide.

“I love you too, so much,” Maya whispered before kissing her head.

_ ‘Marry me?’  _ Carina smiled goofily, the metal brackets and elastics keeping her jaw shut showing. Maya laughed and enjoyed the restricted smile from her wife, that might’ve been the first time Carina had smiled since she’d been awake. Maya watched as the Italian quickly covered her smile with her hand.

“No, I wanna see it,” The blonde told her as she moved her hand from her mouth. She saw Carina smile shyly and she couldn’t help but grin, “You’re so beautiful.”

Carina blushed shyly and Maya turned to make sure the door shut before pressing a kiss to her collarbone, “So, so beautiful.”

Maya’s next kiss was pressed against the lowest point of the v neck on the hospital gown, right in the middle of her sternum, “You are so, so, amazingly, beautiful.”

Carina’s hand threaded through the blonde’s hair. Maya rubbed her nose against the brunette’s (sadly) covered stomach and felt her hair squeezed and slightly pulled Maya quickly sat up and mumbled and “I’m sorry, I didn’t- I wasn’t thinking I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, no,” Carina talked through her closed jaw then winced shortly after, and moved her hand to cup Maya’s face.

Maya laid her head down on Carina’s stomach and just laid down between her wife’s legs and looked at the wall. The brunette just threaded her good hand through the blonde hair.

“You were 10 minutes away. The whole time, you were ten minutes away and I couldn’t find you, God I’m sorry, I couldn’t-” Maya got up and before Carina could even try to say anything or write something down, Maya was out of the room. And Carina couldn’t even go after her. Talk about unfair.


	8. Go home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I wanna go home,” Carina told her as soon as she saw her wife. Maya froze halfway through her way to the chair by the side of the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, no idea about any of the medical stuff. Also I wrote this chapter on my phone so if anything is spelled wrong blame autocorrect.

They hadn’t exactly talked about it, much to Carina’s chagrin. Carina had tried to not be upset about it, and the fact Maya hadn’t found her didn’t actually bother her that much. What bothered her, was the fact that Maya had just started ignoring her when the topic of it came up.

There was also the fact that the initial joy of being home had faded. The jaw wire had been removed, but her jaw was still sore, so was her entire body. Despite her best wishes, every time there was a loud noise or someone moved towards her too quickly she flinched. She also flinched when someone touched her without her realizing. And when the door opened quietly. And when someone would wake her up to make her take her meds. And basically all the time. She felt like she was suffocating in the hospital. She wanted out. She wanted out right now.

“Hey, love,” Maya smiled roughly as she walked in.

_“I wanna go home,” Carina told her as soon as she saw her wife. Maya froze halfway through her way to the chair by the side of the bed_.

“You’re not ready, Amelia said that-“

“I don’t care, Maya!” Carina cut her off and tried to sit up.

“Hey, hey, no,” Maya ran over and tried to guide her back down, but Carina flinched away.

“Let me go,” Carina said with a whimper before she fell back on the bed and turned her head to face the opposite of Maya.

“Baby, what’s going on with you?” Maya chuckled nervously as she put her hand on. Carina’s back, only to have the latter flinch away.

“Take me home or get out,” Carina mumbled as she closed her eyes.

“Carina, wha-“

“You tell me I was 10 minutes away the whole time, and then just leave, I’m not- I’m not even mad about it, I’m mad about you just leaving- doing what you always fucking do, fucking running away,” Carina snapped at her.

Maya took a deep breath and walked out of the room causing Carina to take a deep breath to hold back a sob. The brunette tried sitting up again but fell back and clutched her torso. Maybe she still needed to rest, but she wanted- no,  _ needed _ to go home.

“You need to sign this,” Carina heard her friend mumbled as she walked in. She looked up to see Amelia walking in, with a paper and pen, Maya was at the door.

“What?” Carina raised her eyebrow, confused.

“Maya says you wanna go home, here’s your AMA form, I need you to sign it  _ with _ your left hand,” Amelia said as she put the paper on the tray by Carina’s bed side and put it in front of the Italian.

“I’m right handed, I-“

“Bullshit, Carina, you’re ambidextrous, show me your left hand is fine and I will let you sign the AMA- hell, actually, I’ll discharge you myself,” Ameli said and handed Carina the pen.

The Italian huffed and tried to grab the pen. She couldn’t just grasp it, her stupid hand wasn’t participating and it was pissing her off.

“You legally can’t fucking keep me hear, Amelia!” Carina exclaimed.

“You’re right, I can’t, let me try one more surgery, I can fix your hand I know it-“

“Amelia, you’ve failed so far. You’ve failed and I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll never operate again, can you just stop and let me go home?”

“Carina, please, just hear her out,” Maya urged, and Carina rolled her eyes, but crossed her arms as if ready to listen.

“I wanna try a nerve transplant, there’s a brain dead organ donor in the ER right now, I think I can convince her husband to let us take nerves too,” Amelia explained.

“No,” Carina stated despite the excited smiles on her friend’s and wife’s faces. Their faces fell, it was like they had just expected her to say yes.

“Why not?” Maya asked hesitantly.

“It won’t work, and I’m tired of getting my hopes up. Maybe it’s the fact I was beaten for 5 months and still haven’t been allowed to go home.”

“Carina, please, let Amelia try one more time, if she fails again, we can just move on and pretend it didn’t happen,” Maya begged and Carina looked sighed before nodding.

They scheduled her surgery for the next day, right before she was gonna be prepped for surgery, Maya walked in and sat next to Carina silently for a moment. Neither of them really wanted to talk.

“You were 10 minutes away the whole time and I didn’t notice or save you earlier. I’m mad at me, I know you’re not but I am. I should’ve found you, you shouldn’t have had to get yourself out, I should’ve,” Maya said, her eyes trained on the floor.

“Shut up, Maya! The only person to blame here is Ian, so just shut up!” Carina nearly shouted causing Maya to look up at her.

“Carina, I-“

“Maya, I love you, you did nothing wrong, I don’t blame you, so please just stop,” Carina told her. Maya sighed before crawling into the small bed with her.

“I’m sorry, I’m making this about me,” Maya said as she kissed Carina’s head and wrapped her arms around the taller girl. Carina curled into Maya’s arms, her wife’s arms were the one place she felt safe at this point. Before Carina knew it, Maya had to let go of her so she could go back to surgery.

“I love you, I’ll see you on the flip side,” Maya kissed her head one last time.

“Maya, I wanna be in your arms when I wake up, then I wanna go home,” Carina told her.

“Aright, love, I will be right here, then, we’ll have Amelia discharge you,” Maya agreed even though she wasn’t sure it was the best idea, she wanted Carina to be happy. This was how she’d do it.

5 hours later, they were back in their apartment, Maya was making soup as Carina lay in the bed petting Romeo. All the blonde could think was  _ she’s here. She’s home, Carina is home. _


	9. Start of Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You should still be in bed recovering, Carina you only got home last night. Let me take care of you."  
> “I’m sorry, being back- being touched in a nice way is still weird to me.”

Maya woke up to the other half of the bed being empty, she shot up and looked around for her wife who was nowhere to be found.

“Dammit,” She mumbled before going to check the bathroom. No Carina there. She quickly left the room to find Carina standing in the kitchen making some french toast.

“What’re you doing?” Maya asked as soon as she saw the taller woman. Carina had just worn a bra and shorts to bed last night making every notch in her spine, every tiny muscle that was forced visible from the way Carina still had absolutely 0 fat on her body.

“I’m making some breakfast?” Carina pointed out, her confusion making it seem like more of a question.

“You should still be in bed recovering, Carina you only got home last night. Let me take care of you,” Maya said as she walked over and wrapped her hands around Carina’s waist only to have the brunette flinch and move away.

“I’m sorry, being back- being touched in a nice way is still weird to me,” Carina whispered as she flipped a piece of toast on the skillet.

“Let me finish this, you rest,” Maya urged as she reached out to grab Carina’s hand but ultimately stopped herself.

“Maya, I’m fine, I can-”

“Please,” Maya begged, Carina finally met her eyes and let out a soft sigh before stepping away from the stove.

Maya watched as her wife walked to the dining room and raised her eyebrow confused, “Babe, why don’t you lie down on the couch?”

“Maya, that couch is a constant reminder about the fact I was kidnapped for months,” Carina shrugged.

“You- uhm- you seem different,” Maya pointed out nervously.

“Yeah, well you know in vampiri films when the vampiro turns off their humanity?”

“Uhm, yeah, yeah I do,” Maya responded awkwardly as she put the last piece of bread on the skillet.

“I had to do that, Maya, it’s how I survived, I tried to ignore you on the monitor, I blocked out the pain, I turned off my humanity, and it doesn’t just come back in one instance.”

“But at the hospital-”

“At the hospital I was overwhelmed with being back. I love you, Maya, that’s not gonna stop no matter how hard I try to turn off humanity, but I am still- I’m trying to get back to the old me,” Carina explained calmly.

“I- uh- I love you, Carina no matter what, even if you’re not the same as you were. I was just pointing out that you’ve changed. It’s not bad. Just different,” Maya responded as she brought two plates of French toast over. Carina’s had powdered sugar, bananas, and strawberries while Maya didn’t add any toppings to hers.

They ate in silence, the air was tense. They both wanted to talk about everything, but also nothing at all. Carina wanted to confess her desire for them to move out, she wanted to talk to Maya about what she missed. She wanted to ask if Maya had moved on at all during the 5 months, she wouldn’t be mad if the blonde had slept with someone else. At some point they must’ve thought she was dead.

Maya, on the other hand, wanted to ask about what happened. She knew Carina had been stabbed and punched and hit, but was that all? Had anything worse happened? She wanted to know if Carina was okay. Well, she knew the brunette wouldn’t be okay for a while, but she wanted to know how she could help, if she was on the way to being okay.

“I’m gonna call my dad,” Carina whispered when she finished eating. Maya knew she hadn’t called her dad yet, Andrew had called him when she had gone missing and when she had been found, but she still hadn’t talked to him. Maya nodded and watched her wife get up and start walking to the bedroom.

Maya cleared the dishes before following her wife into the bedroom, she heard fast Italian in the room. She walked in and found Carina speaking quickly, she only caught a few words she phrases the Italian say “lo so” and “no, papa, sto bene, e tu?”

She heard a quiet “Ciao” from her wife before Carina turned around and noticed her. Before Maya knew what was happening, Carina was in her arms. She heard soft sobs from the blonde whose head was on her chest. The captain walked them to the bed and pulled Carina into her arms.

“What happened with your dad?”

“Nothing, I just, God, I wanna move out, Maya,” Carina whispered into the blonde’s neck.

“Okay, I’ll go grab my laptop, we can look at house or apartment listings, tomorrow I’ll call my real estate agent and we’ll figure it out,” Maya didn’t even want to fight. After everything that had happened, she wasn’t sure she wanted to keep living here either.

Romeo came, jumped up on the bed, and snuggled into Carina’s side.

“Hey, buddy,” Carina giggled through her tears and started to pet the cat.

“Now that you won’t be alone, I will go grab my laptop. The next few hours was them looking at listings and at some point Carina fell asleep with Romeo on her chest, also asleep. Maya smiled and kissed Carina on the head. This was the most Carina-like she’d seen her wife since she’d been back, she seemed so peaceful, her face was still skinnier, but it looked full of life again.

Maya closed her laptop and soon fell asleep. In the middle of night she woke up to screaming, Maya shot up to see Carina flailing around, Maya wrapped her arms around the brunette and whispered, “It’s okay, I got you, I got you,” into Carina’s ear.

She felt her arms being scratched as Carina kept yelling until she finally calmed down and started just crying in Maya’s arms again.

Maya looked at her arms and noticed the blood caused by Carina’s nails. She shrugged it off and looked at the brunette, still asleep, but shaking.

She heard a quietly mumbled, “please, I wanna go home, please, let me go home,” and stuff along that line. Maya just held onto Carina. Maybe this recovery process would be longer than Maya had anticipated. Not as though that mattered though, Maya knew she would be here no matter what.


	10. Dead phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fine, but you guys are paying for my drinks,” Maya agreed before pulling her phone and sending a quick, hey love, the team and I going out for drinks, I’ll see you in a few hours to Carina. Almost immediately after she pressed send her phone died. At least she had pressed send.

Maya groaned as she finished her shift. It had been four weeks since Carina had gotten home, Maya had been working her normal shifts, but people were able to tell she was stressed and wearing herself thin. She was barely sleeping, after Carina’s nightmare, Maya spent the nights holding Carina, anytime the brunette started to seem unruly and started flailing in her sleep, Maya would hold her tighter and whisper sweet nothings into her ear until the nightmare was over. This, however, made it so Maya barely slept.

The women had found a house they both liked and they had put a bid on it, their apartment had been mostly packed and people had started viewing it. Luckily For them, the landlord had to deal with the rest.

“Hey, Maya,” Andy said as she walked into the office.

“Hi, I’m heading out, what do you need?” Maya asked as she grabbed her bag.

“Everyone’s heading over to Joe’s for some good ol’ morning beers, wanna join us?” Andy offered with a nod to the people hanging out around the front desk waiting.

“Sorry, I can’t, I gotta go home,” Maya apologized and started heading out of her office.

“C’mon, Maya, you haven’t hung out with us in like 8 months, since Carina went missing, but she’s back now, just shoot her text and come out with us,” Andy begged. Maya scrunched her eyebrows and looked at her team’s hopeful eyes.

“Fine, but you guys are paying for my drinks,” Maya agreed before pulling her phone and sending a quick,  _ hey love, the team and I going out for drinks, I’ll see you in a few hours _ to Carina. Almost immediately after she pressed send her phone died. At least she had pressed send.

Maya spent maybe an hour (well, that’s what it felt like, it was actually 3 hours) at the bar before she got a cab home, she walked in and heard Carina yell “Who’s there?”

“Hey, baby, it’s me,” Maya responded as she went to the bedroom to find Carina who walked over to her and sharply smacked her cheek.

“What the hell?” Maya, suddenly sober, asked as she grabbed her stinging cheek and looked at the Italian who had tears in her eyes.

“‘What the hell?’ That’s all you have to say? You come home from work 3 hours late and that’s all you have to say?” Carina nearly yelled with disbelief.

“I was at the bar! I texted you to tell you!” Maya defended herself.

“No you didn’t!”

“What? Yes I did! After I plug my phone in and it has charge again I’ll prove it!”

“It didn’t go through, you asshole!” Carina yelled and showed Maya her text conversation with the blonde. The last text was from Carina saying ‘good morning’ earlier in the day.

The doctor ran her fingers through her hair and walked into the kitchen as she dialed someone on the phone.

“What’re you doing?” Maya asked as she followed the Italian.

“Calling Detective Hayes and saying I found you.”

“You called the police?” Maya scoffed in disbelief.

“I was worried, Maya! Only months ago I was still being held captive, sorry I assumed the worst!” Carina defended herself. Maya just rolled her eyes and went to shower. This was probably a bad conversation to have while she was drunk and way too overtired.

Maya walked out to find Carina in the dining room nursing a glass of wine.

“You’re not supposed to be drinking,” The blonde pointed out.

“I don’t need my pain meds anymore, I’m fine to be having wine,” Carina mumbled.

“Earlier, I was bitchy. I'm sorry.”

Carina pursed her lips and nodded knowingly, “You rolled your eyes at me talking about how I was being held captive.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I was upset, and slightly drunk,” Maya chuckled nervously.

“Yeah, well, your inhibitions were lowered, you’re tired of dealing with me which I get. I get the being tired of staying up all night, and yes, I’ve noticed it, I get the drinking with your friend, I even get-” Carina took a shaky breath before continuing, “I even get the sleeping with other women, but you have to tell me if you’ll be home late.”

Maya’s eyes went wide as her jaw dropped. Carina thought she was sleeping with other women?

“Baby, I’m not-”

“It’s fine, Maya, I’m not ready yet and you have needs, and I mean, I smell someone else’s perfume on you know, and I’m not assuming you haven’t had sex in 8 months, it’s fine,” Carina shrugged despite the words coming out of her mouth making her want to throw up.

“Carina, I’m not- I haven’t- I’m not- this is Vic’s perfume we were dancing together,  _ platonically, _ I haven’t slept with anyone else, I wouldn’t-”

“Dio mio, Maya, it’s fine if you have!”

“But I haven’t! Okay? I don’t want to sleep with anyone else! You are my wife. You are the love of my life. I’m not gonna sleep with anyone else! Stop being insecure, I love you!” Maya almost shouted.

Carina looked down and sighed. After a moment of silence she looked up and mumbled, “I’m gonna be sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“What? Why?” The blonde asked, confused.

“Because you didn’t fucking text me! And you’ve been- You’re mad at me, you don’t know it, but subconsciously you are because I was kidnapped and gone and I made you worry for months, and now I’m keeping you up at night. So I’m mad at you, you’re mad at me, and the bed is the only way you’ll actually sleep,” Carina explained.

Maya didn’t even try to argue. They started getting ready for bed silently. They brushed their teeth, Maya brushed through her hair, Carina quickly put hers in two french braids and the blonde couldn’t help but notice how bony her hands still were. Maya went into the bedroom to get changed and the brunette followed. The whole exchange was silent, they didn’t even make eye contact.

“Carina,” Maya said as the Italian started to leave the room.

Carina turned on her heel and hummed in acknowledgement as they made eye contact.

“Let me sleep on the couch, you barely want to go in the living room anymore, I don’t want you to spend the night there.”

Carina nodded and walked fully back into the bedroom, “Thank you.”

“Good night,” Maya grinned kindly.

Maya was almost half asleep when Carina walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, “What’re you doing?” The blonde mumbled, her face pressing against a pillow.

“Grabbing the medicine Amelia gave me to help me fall asleep,” Carina said as she grabbed a glass of water and quickly took the pills. She walked over and pressed a kiss to Maya’s forehead.

“I love you, bella, go to sleep.”

Maya made eye contact with Carina and before she knew it, her lips were on the taller girl’s.

She pulled Carina onto her lap, just kept their lips connected no matter what.

Carina moved her lips to Maya’s neck and felt her tank top being clawed at, Maya silently asking to take it off.

Carina pulled away and made eye contact with Maya before giving a little nod and helping Maya take the little, black tank top off.

“God, you’re beautiful,” The blonde whispered as she ran her hands down Carina’s body, she traced the line of the abs on the thin stomach.

All of the sudden, the doctor pulled away, grabbed her tank top and covered her stomach with it.

“I-I-uhm-I’m gonna go to bed,” The brunette mumbled before turning around and running off.

Wait, what the fuck had Maya done wrong?


	11. new dynamic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over the next few days, their whole dynamic changed, they slept in the bed together, usually cuddling but if not they always had some type of contact, whether it be a hand on the other’s shoulder or a foot brushing against a leg, they always remained some kind of physical touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW//Sexual assault mentioned

The next morning, Carina woke up and went into the kitchen to find Maya plating some crepes with fruit and some off brand new nutella.

“Don’t worry, it’s vegan,” Maya smiled. Carina noticed the box of donuts behind her, and raised a confused eyebrow, “Bella, what is all of this?”

“This morning I went for a run and I wanted to apologize for last night, so I stopped at the place you like that sells vegan pastries, so I figured I would get you some and plate it nicely and we could have breakfast in bed.”

“Oh, uhm, yeah, that’s uhm- why’re you apologizing? I should be sorry, I didn’t- I mean- I should’ve been-”

“Hey,” Maya cut the brunette off and put the plate down as she walked around the kitchen to put her hands around Carina’s neck, “It’s fine. It actually- it made it so I really made me need to ask something.”

Carina nodded, urging Maya to continue, “Did he- uh- did he- ever  _ touch  _ you?”

“Maya, he beat me over and over again, he did touch me a lot?” Carina’s statement came out as more of a question.

“No, no,” Maya chuckled nervously, “did he- uhm- touch you sexually?” That question had been on Maya’s mind since they’d found Carina.

“Oh, nope,” Carina stated briefly before just shrugging, obviously wanting to move on.

“Oh, good,” Maya smiled awkwardly, she obviously still wanted to talk about it, so Carina sighed and sat down at the island, signaling for Maya to sit down in the chair next to her.

“He got off on all of it, on stabbing and me being hurt and powerless, it just all got him off. So for him it was sexual, but not for me,” Carina shrugged.

“Car, that still wasn’t necessarily not mentally damaging for you and last night-”

“Last night was- I don’t know I was tired and out of it and drunk.”

“Oh, okay,” Maya responded with a fake smile. So Carina had no desire for her anymore? That wouldn’t make Maya leave. Nothing could, but it did kind of sting.

Carina obviously realized the way Maya interpreted it and sighed, “No, no, I still- I want to- Dammit! I hate Ian, Maya. I hate him with everything because he’s still emotionally fine after everything, but I think of him when you do something simple like trace your finger along my abdomen, and it’s not fair! I want to forget and I want us to get back to normal, but I can’t yet.”

“Hey,” Maya stood up and wrapped her arms around Carina again, “It’s okay, you won’t be healed instantly, it’s a process.”

Carina nodded silently before whispering a nearly silent, “I love you.”

The couple fell silent and quickly ate the breakfast Maya had laid out for them.

“Mm, I missed this place’s food,” Carina exclaimed as she shoveled food into her mouth. Maya was fairly entertained by the doctor eating so improperly and quickly, though, she assumed it’s what happens when you pretty much get one meal a month, maybe two.

“What’re you smiling at?” Carina asked with a hand covering her mouth and a smile evident in her eyes.

“I missed you,” Maya shrugged happily. She had expected- well not this.

She had expected Carina to not be as open today. She expected the walls that had been so far up the last three months to still be high, maybe a little lower, but still too high for Maya to break them down. Except, Maya had managed to break them. She had somehow gotten Carina to open up.

“I hate my body,” Carina stated randomly in between bites. Maya choked on her coffee, “Wait, what? Why?”

“I’m too skinny, everyone notices, someone random at the store asked if I was anorexic yesterday, which is way out of line. Someone else said ‘hey, you’re that woman who was kidnapped for 5 months right? I saw you on the news all the time.’ Also, I have scars, everywhere now. It sucks.”

“Carina DeLuca, you’re perfect. Plus, scars are sexy,” Maya smiled at her.

Over the next few days, their whole dynamic changed, they slept in the bed together, usually cuddling but if not they always had some kind of contact, whether it be a hand on the other’s shoulder or a foot brushing against a leg, they always remained some kind of physical touch.

Carina had started to open up more, and with that have fewer nightmares. She was going to therapy and cleared to start back at work soon, Maya was going to therapy too, but they weren’t going together. Carina was also on 150 milligrams of sertraline to help manage her PTSD.

Everything had just been going well. Until it wasn’t.

The house they liked went to another couple who bid more, Carina’s dad came for a surprise visit, and the worst of them (for Carina at least) was the trial against Ian. There was a bunch of irrefutable evidence that made it so he was gonna be found guilty almost no matter what, but it still made Carina nervous. She would have to be in the same room as him for however long.

Carina and Maya had finally found another house they liked about as much as the first one, though this one didn’t have the outdoor pool, or as many extra bedrooms. They bid on it, but refused to get their hopes up this time.

Carina’s dad had been sleeping on their couch. And being disruptive and rude. He knew Carina was vegan and bisexual and married to a woman with no desire to have kids, yet, here her dad was saying stuff like, “C’mon bambini, you just need to find the perfect man than you’ll see,” right in front of Maya. He also decided that anytime he would cook dinner, it would have meat in it. When Carina didn’t eat it, she would get verbally dismissed by her father, “You have no respect for me! How did I ever raise someone so ungrateful!” blah blah blah, stuff like that.

The court date however, had gone terribly. Ian’s lawyer got him out of a 30 year sentence for 1st-degree kidnapping, using the “He’s mentally unstable” card. So, Ian would be sentenced to 10 years in a mental institute. Carina tried to understand it, but she couldn’t. Sure her brother and dad were both mentally unstable, but they never held someone captive for 5 months.

And then, after the trial, her nightmares started again, maybe worse than they were at first.


	12. I'm okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She unwrapped a few photos of her and Maya from the bubble wrap and put them on the desk. She looked at a photo of them smiling, Carina had an arm around Maya’s shoulders as she kissed her then girlfriend’s cheek. The blonde was smiling widely, her cheeks flushed. The brunette’s free hand was taking the picture, the background was from the peak of a mountain as the sunset. They had gone a hike around 6 pm, and when they got to the top of the mountain, the sun was setting and the sky and background had just been beautiful.

_ He was out on the loose. He was out on the loose and he had found her. How had he found her? Her and Maya had moved, yet here she was, back in this cramped warehouse, tied up, an-” _

Carina woke with a quiet gasp and shot up. She saw Maya’s eyes furrow before she felt, made sure Carina was still there before groaning and flipping over. The new nightmares had been quieter and they hadn’t been waking Maya up which was a positive. The doctor looked around the unfamiliar room. Her and Maya had moved in yesterday and hadn’t even unpacked their room. They hadn’t even really unpacked anything yet.

Carina sighed before silently walking out of the room into the hallway. From the hallway, Carina could see the stairs and 3 other doors, the office, the guest room and a bathroom in between the two doors. Carina walked into the office that had a few boxes in it as well as a desk and some shelves in the corner. The doctor looked at her watch to see it was 3 am. She just sighed before pushing the desk in the middle of the room so the window framed it. She put the shelves up opposite it before opening one of the boxes and putting books and some of Maya’s trophies up on it.

She unwrapped a few photos of her and Maya from the bubble wrap and put them on the desk. She looked at a photo of them smiling, Carina had an arm around Maya’s shoulders as she kissed her then girlfriend’s cheek. The blonde was smiling widely, her cheeks flushed. The brunette’s free hand was taking the picture, the background was from the peak of a mountain as the sunset. They had gone a hike around 6 pm, and when they got to the top of the mountain, the sun was setting and the sky and background had just been beautiful.

And everything about that photo screamed happiness; Ii only they were still that happy.

They were still in love, but not necessarily happy. Maya was always worried about Carina. Carina was going through something the blonde couldn’t understand and it was just a lot. Before Carina had known it, she had unpacked the office, the guest bedroom, and bathroom when Maya walked out of the bedroom around 7 am.

“Morning, how long have you been up?” The blonde asked with a yawn.

“A few hours, I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep, so I just started unpacking,” The taller girl shrugged. Maya was obviously worried, but she just kissed Carina’s head before heading downstairs to get coffee.

The doctor decided to follow, suddenly also in the need for caffeine.

“YouneedtotalktoBailey,” Maya mumbled quietly into her mug 10 minutes later, not excited for their next conversation.

“Hm?”

“You need to talk to Bailey,” came out of the blonde’s mouth, more clear this time. 

“What about? Does she need to sign off on my working as well?” A nervous laugh came from the taller girl.

“Yeah, yeah she does because- uh- I can’t in good conscious sign the form and let you work at the station,” The blonde explained carefully. Carina had met with Dr. Lewis who cleared her for work, but she also needed Maya or Bailey’s permission to send her to work. If she got Maya to sign she could  _ finally _ start working at 19. If Bailey signed, she could start at the hospital again.

“What? What the hell, Maya!?”

“You’re my wife, so you expect me to instantly sign, but you’re not ready. You’re not sleeping- and don’t even try to lie to me and tell me you are, I sleep in the same bed as you, I know you’re not. You’re not okay despite you pretending to be. If you work on the PRT everything will always be a matter of life or death, and I can’t have you on the field right now in your current mental state an-” Maya was cut off by a loud huff and she watched silently as Carina stood up, put her mug in the sink, pushed her chair in, and walked upstairs without another word.

That was how Maya found herself sleeping on the couch. She didn’t like the idea of Carina in bed alone, but she didn’t want to argue more. The couple had spent the whole day arguing. Carina insistent she should be working again. Maya insistent she shouldn’t work at the station.

The next morning, around 2 am, Maya woke up to a scream coming from upstairs. She ran to their room to find Carina, still asleep, writhing around mumbling something like “please, let me go home, please,  _ please”  _ Maya didn’t want to wake her up. She didn’t want to break boundaries by crawling into bed and holding her wife but after a desperate cry for help, Maya climbed in the bed and wrapped herself around Carina protectively. Then, around 5, Carina was still asleep, and Maya dipped out of the bed before going on a run.

When she got back to the house, Carina was still ignoring her. She stared intently, studying every detail of the brunette’s face.

“I’m gonna go shower,” Maya informed, despite not getting any response.

The blonde felt relieved in the solitude of the shower. She had a moment, where she could think about nothing at all. Then, she heard a door open, she was assuming the master bedroom door since it was connected to the en suite.

Next thing she knew, a very naked Carina was stepping into the shower with her.

“What’re you doing?”

“Proving to you that I’m fine,” Carina smirked confidently before pushing herself against Maya and Maya against the tile wall of the shower.

Despite the taller girl’s seemingly confident attitude, Maya could tell from the difference in her kiss that confidence was fake, so Maya did the hardest thing ever. She pushed a very naked, very hot, very amazing Carina off of her.

“Our first time after you get back isn’t gonna be some meaningless shower sex that you’re uncomfortable with,” Maya told the brunette before reaching for her towel and stepping out of the shower. She could tell she’d just pissed Carina off even more, but she also knew in later years Carina would thank her for this. Well, that’s what she’d hoped at least.

That night, much to her surprise, she had been invited back into the bedroom. She and Carina didn’t touch, they definitely didn’t speak, but being in the same vicinity as the other made them feel better. Even if there’s a bit of conflict.


	13. Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much to Maya’s surprise, when she walked in, all their previous decorating in the kitchen and living room and the entrance hallway was ruined. There were photos thrown on the floor, dishes had been broken, plants had been thrown aside, bookshelves now on the floor, and in the center of the mess was Carina, crying, with her head against the wall.

_ “Carina,” Maya moaned. Her wife’s lips were moving down her neck, onto her collarbone, and continuing further down her body. _

_ “Babe, please,” Maya moaned out again. _

_ “Patience, Bella,” Carina smirked against Maya’s inner thigh. _

Maya woke up with a jolt. She hadn’t had a dream like that since- it felt like forever. Maya looked over to see Carina sleeping and instantly felt bad. Carina had barely been sleeping and definitely wasn’t ready to have sex yet here Maya was having dreams that definitely weren’t okay for her to have. She, god, she was a bad wife. Maya wanted to punch herself. Why the hell couldn't she wait!? She had been patient so far, but god she wanted Carina so much right now. The stupid shower a few days ago I had made it even worse.

The blonde needed to get out her own head, so she got up, and started running. She hadn’t realized it was 3 in the morning when she left, she had just run.

She ran for a long time. She got home at 7 am and found Carina pacing around the kitchen. They had finished decorating the house yesterday, but they still weren’t talking too much.

Much to Maya’s surprise, when she walked in, all their previous decorating in the kitchen and living room and the entrance hallway was ruined. There were photos thrown on the floor, dishes had been broken, plants had been thrown aside, bookshelves now on the floor, and in the center of the mess was Carina, crying, with her head against the wall.

Maya didn’t know what time she had left, she hadn’t realized her run was 4 hours, but Carina, on the other hand, was all too aware of this face.

“Love, what’s wrong?” Maya asked as she ran towards the Italian. Had someone broken in? Had Ian tried to get to her again?

“I- You left-” Carina stated through tears. Maya, still confused, picked Carina up, and carried her upstairs into the bedroom.

The blonde expected her wife to pull away, but much to her surprise Carina stayed as close to Maya as she could.

“I’m not leaving Carina,” Maya whispered and kissed the taller girl’s head.

“You- I was awake earlier, when you had the dream. I thought you- I heard you get up, and get ready for your run, but I didn’t think you were coming back because I- I can’t do anything and I- I’m the worst wife an-”

“Hey! No! You’re perfect! I don’t need anything except to be here, with you, right here, right now.”

So they laid there for a while until Carina fell asleep. Then, Maya slipped herself out of bed and started cleaning the wrecked lower level of their house. She made a list of things to purchase on her way home from work after her shift that started tomorrow; 4 new picture frames, a new plant vase, a new lamp, bolts so Carina couldn’t knock the bookshelf down again, and probably a whole new set of dishes. Stuff like that. Luckily, none of the photos were damaged, but the frame with the worst damage was them on their wedding day. Maya was wearing a plain blue shirt and black jeans with Carina, looking exhausted, wearing a white blouse with dark grey high waisted pants. You couldn’t really tell it was a wedding picture, but their impromptu run to the courthouse had to be remembered somehow.

When Maya finished cleaning (it took about three hours) she made her and Carina some pasta thing that was a glorified mac and cheese but Carina loved it. The brunette had been getting restless at home with no work. Therefore there was quite a bit of bread, pasta, cookies, donuts, and other homemade items Carina had made. You would expect this to help the previously kidnapped girl to put on some weight, but alas, it did not.

“God, you’re the woman of my dreams,” Carina smiled and came up behind Maya as the blonde cooked. This was new. Well, it was old, but it hadn’t happened in a while.

“I know,” Maya smirked and turned to kiss Carina lightly. It was more of a peck, anything more was weird for them right now.

“We should get married,” Carina said as she rested her head on Maya’s shoulder.

“Mm, we already are silly,” Maya giggled as she finished up the pasta she had been making.

“No, no, I mean like, an official one, with all our friends and family,” Carina smiled and Maya’s eyes lit up.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay, it’s perfect,” The blonde smiled

**_A year ago *pre story*_ **

_ “I wanna marry you,” a familiar voice stated and Carina could swore her heart stopped beating, she was sure from the way Maya stuttered and turned red and moved her head from the place on Carina’s chest, she hadn’t meant to say that, “I mean- no! No. Uh not yet, but one day- uhm it marriage something you’re interested in?” _

_ “I don't know,” Carina shrugged before her eye twinkled a little, “maybe you can find a way to convince me? In bed. With your tongue.” _

**Present**

Maya wasn’t sure what brought on that particular memory, they had talked about marriage quite a bit, maybe it was the way they were so different than they used to be. The fact they could never go back to that.

After eating they decided to reside on the couch and watch some tv while cuddling. Kisses on the head turned to soft little pecks which turned into actual kisses which turned into kisses with tongue which ended up with them, in their bed, naked. Maya definitely hadn’t expected this to be the way her day went.

“I love you,” Maya whispered to an already once again sleepy Carina.

“I love you too,” Was mumbled into her neck.

“We- uh- your brother is coming over for dinner tonight, we should start to go prepare it,” Maya said, seeing the clock at nearly 4 o’clock. Carina moved to straddle Maya, “Maybe in like, 10 minutes?” Next thing Maya knew, Carina’s lips were on her jawline, then her neck.

“Carina,” Maya moaned. Her wife’s lips were moving down her neck, onto her collarbone, and continuing further down her body.

“Babe, please,” Maya moaned out again.

“Patience, Bella,” Carina smirked against Maya’s inner thigh.


	14. Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M A R R A I G E T I M E EVEN THOUGH THEYRE ALREADY TECHNICALLY MARRIED DW ABT IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TEDDY IS NOT WITH OWEN OR TOM BECAUSE I'VE DONE A THING :)

That night of their dinner with Andrew everything had changed. They had changed. They weren’t back to normal, neither of them could really remember what their old normal had felt like. Today, 3 months later, they were getting married… again.

This time, however, there would be Andrew and Mason and Maya’s mom and all of the captain’s team as well as Amelia, Teddy and a few of Carina’s friends from Italy were even coming in to go to their wedding ceremony.

“This is overkill, Andy!” Maya complained when she woke up at Andy and Sullivan’s apartment. Her and the team had gone drinking last night, a nice little bachelorette party at Joe’s and Maya remembered saying “will someone get me a taxi home?” Only to wake up one her best friend’s couch because she couldn’t “see the bride the day of the wedding,” which she found overkill.

Carina hadn’t officially returned to work yet, but she’d gone on a few ride alongs with the team and Maya was getting prepared to sign her back into work within the next few days. She was actually gonna do it this morning and give it to her as a pre wedding gift, but she had been abducted- wait, no too close to home- she had been drunkenly taken advantage of and was not able to do that. And with the 5 day honeymoon the couple would be taking she would be a little preoccupied with doing- well with doing Carina- to sign the papers so it would have to wait until their short little cruise.

Carina woke up in her and Maya’s house, but not in their bed. She found herself waking up with a hell of a hangover, in the bathtub in the hallway bathroom. She looked to the side and saw Teddy’s head resting on the side of the bathtub closest to the toilet, her friend Isabella (who Teddy had gotten along with quite well last night if the 45 minutes the two of them disappeared into the guest room together was any indicator), had been as jet lagged as possible and decided to pair that with as drunk as possible and had her head on the opposite side of the toilet than Teddy’s.

Carina remembered the two of them throwing up as she held back whoever was puking hair, then they’d switch and she’d have to change places and quickly hold the other one’s hair. She herself hadn’t been drunk enough to throw up, she had actually remained relatively sober. Her hell of a hangover was a mix of being slightly drunk and trying to make sure 5 other very drunk women didn’t end up falling down the stairs or something. Luckily for her, however, Amelia didn’t drink, so she wasn’t the only one babysitting.

She walked into her room to find Sophia, Bria, and Luke all crowded together sleeping in her bed. Sophia and Bria came in from Italy together and Luke was actually just her next door neighbor from when she first moved in and he had helped her out a lot over the years they’d known each other.

She sighed and walked downstairs to find Amelia drinking coffee she had no doubt ordered along with several bags of breakfast food.

“You’re a saint,” The taller girl mumbled as she took Amelia’s coffee and took a sip.

“Hey! Get your own coffee!” Carina scrunched her face and moved on into the kitchen

“Do you think any of them realize none of us are 20 anymore?” Carina asked as she grabbed some advil from a cabinet before grabbing one of the coffees Amelia bought.

“Definitely not,” Amelia laughed lightly, “You’re lucky Maya didn’t come home last night, she probably would’ve killed you.”

“She didn’t come home last night?” Carina asked, her eyebrows raised in worry. She hadn’t heard anything about Maya staying the night, she had just assumed the blonde went to sleep in the guest room.

“Nope, she texted you a little bit ago though, she’s at Andy’s.”

Carina breathed a sigh of relief before stretching. Note to self: sleeping in bathtub=bad idea.

“Amelia?”

“Hm?”

“Do you love me?”

“Sometimes…”

“Will you give me a back massage?” Carina asked with an innocent smile. She hadn’t wanted to be sore later today. She would normally just ask Maya, but she had to settle for her friend instead.

A few minutes after Amelia finished giving Carina a short massage, Luke came down and instantly started rummaging from the bags of food Amelia had purchased.

“Are there any doughnuts or something really sweet like that?”

“Nope, I’m not dealing with any one hungover and on a sugar high,” Amelia complained and he smirked at her.

“Luke doesn’t get hungover.” “I don’t get hungover.”

He and Carina informed Amelia at the same time.

“Soooooo doughnuts?”

“Maya probably has some in the pantry,” Carina shrugged.

Within 30 minutes, everyone started to trickle downstairs until they were all either sitting at the table, eating, or on the couch talking to the people eating at the table. Hanging out with her friends, the day passed quickly, before Carina knew it, she had to get dressed for the official wedding.

A dress. Why the Hell had Maya chosen for herself to wear a dress? She hated dresses! They were way too revealing! She decided on wearing a spaghetti strap dress that showed enough cleavage to make her uncomfortable that also had a slit in the leg, and why?! Why did she do this?!

“It’s not about being comfortable!” Andy had told her, “It’s about looking hot, which you do.”

Maya had ultimately sucked it up, and now here she was, standing with her brother, who had started living with their mom recently and they’d been able to reconcile their relationship, ready to walk down the aisle.

Next Carina walked down, and God, she looked gorgeous. They had each already seen each other in their dresses, they had done wedding pictures a week or two before, but still the long white dress with the flowy, lacey sleeves. Carina didn’t necessarily look hot. She looked gorgeous- perfect, even

She knew that Sullivan (who was “officiating” their little ceremony) was saying something, but she couldn’t pay attention, she couldn’t take her eyes off of Carina. Based on the brown eyes examining her own blue ones she assumed Carina was in the same dilemma.

“Okay, do you guys have vows written?” Sullivan asked and the both nodded. Sullivan gestured for Carina to start which took Maya off guard, she expected her to go first. Everything made a little more sense when Carina scrunched her face and stuck her tongue out at Maya playfully before starting. She had wanted to go first.

“Maya, I could stand up here and tell you how much I love you, but everyone here already knows that, especially you. I do, love you so much, I do, but you have flaws,” Carina paused for a moment and Maya started to get concerned, she looked to her team nervously and saw Miller and Montgomery snickering. Carina sent them a glare that instantly got them to stop before starting again, “Miller, Montgomery you two have flaws as well, I don’t know what you’re giggling about, BUT Maya, I have over time, learned your flaws, I love them. I love them as much as I love the rest of you. You aren’t perfect, but no one is. I’m a better person around you, my flaws are still there, but I feel like they don’t impact me as much, I can only hope I do the same for you because I know you’re flawed, I know you’ve been trained that work is the most important thing, and that you’re way too competitive. You refuse to admit anyone else is right unless absolutely necessary, so do I though. We’ve been through so much together and while writing these I was thinking about the moment I knew that I was gonna marry you. I think I always knew. Since the day we met, I knew it would be you. You’re not perfect, but you are my other half, you make me feel complete, and happy and totally in love even when you piss me off.”

Maya smiled at the brunette as soon as she had finished. “I love you,” She mouthed and Carina grinned happily.

“Carina DeLuca, you are the first person I’ve ever been in love with. I’m not your first love, I know that, but I plan to be your longest love. I don’t give up, I don’t take breaks unless they’re forced, I don’t take in the small moments, always eyes forward, other than when I’m with you. I never saw myself getting married. Ever. But then, I made the biggest mistake of my life when I realized I was in love with you, it scared me. I’d never been taught how to receive or give love, but then you taught me, and I don’t think there’s anyone else with enough patience, and kindness, and inner beauty to have done that with all the pushing away I did. Every morning, I wake up and I see you in our bed, and I am so happy that you’re in bed next to me. The day I said ‘I love you,’ and for some reason you said it back, that’s when I knew that one day, I would get a ring on your finger. I love you so much, and I’m so excited to be as frustrating as possible,” Maya smirked as she watched Carina roll her eyes, “for the rest of our lives.”

“Alright,” Sullivan continued, “Before we move on, any objections?”

Maya rolled her eyes when she watched Travis stand up.

“Montgomery,” Maya warned and he just stood in the aisle before starting his objection.

“That one waitress assumed Carina and I were dating and I hate to break it to you, Cap’ I think I’m in love with her, I challenge you to a duel for Carina’s hand,” He joked, and Vic grabbed his arm and violently pulled him back into his seat.

“Any serious objections?” Sullivan asked, glaring daggers at the team who all shook their heads no.

“Okay, now for the rings,” He said as Amelia and Link’s son slowly walked down the aisle with his mom and a pillow with two rings on it. They were getting new engraved rings since their first ones were just cheap so they had rings.

They made silly faces at each other as they exchanged rings.

Before she knew what was happening, Maya heard “I now pronounce you married, you may kiss,” and then Carina’s lips were on hers.

They pulled away and stupidly smiled at each other before Carina leaned in and whispered, “You look incredibly sexy in that dress, amore.” Maya blushed and grabbed Carina’s hand to pull her away from the arch so they could get changed for the reception.

They got somewhat distracted changing and were pretty much the last two to make it to the reception and then, they had their first dance and everything was locked into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last chapter :( I'm gonna try to post an epilogue soon!


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So that’s what they did. Sure, sometimes he was brought up in conversation, but he was left in the past. He might’ve taken Carina for a while, but he didn’t take Maya and Carina’s love or happiness. He hadn’t truly taken anything from them.

Maya smiled as she felt Carina’s head burrow further into the dip between her neck and shoulder. It was their five year wedding anniversary and Maya had planned their day. She’d wanted to do breakfast in bed, however she didn’t want to move. Carina had her head pressed right under Maya’s jaw and against the blonde’s neck and shoulder. The Italian’s arms were wrapped around Maya’s torso and she had one leg wrapped around Maya’s.

“Cari,” Maya had tried to softly wake her wife up for half a second, but to no avail.

The last five years had been long and full of healing and fighting. They were so in love it was insane, but it was also hard sometimes. Carina still suffered from PTSD, she still went to therapy… a lot. Maya still went to therapy too. Sometimes, they went to therapy together. It was hard when they realized Maya was way too overprotective now. It wasn’t in a creepy, possessive way. No, it was in more of a but-what-if-you-go-there-without-me-and-you-get-hurt-because-I’m-not-there-to-protect-you way. That had been a conversation. Carina would yell, “I don’t need you to protect me!” To which Maya would respond, “I wasn’t there when Ian took you! I’ll be damned if I make that mistake again!” Then that caused more arguing- therapy had been rather beneficial.

Eventually, Ian got arrested, he did some other stupid shit, and it had helped Carina’s nightmares settle, but everything still wasn’t perfect and-

Maya’s thoughts were cut off by a soft knock on their bedroom door.

“Yeah?” Maya asked softly and in walked a 5 year old girl with messy blonde french braids and sea green eyes. The girl they had adopted 3 and half years ago, Peyton.

“Mommy, I woke up and I’m bored,” The little girl complained as she crawled into the king sized bed and wiggled her way in between Carina and Maya’s bodies.

“Okay, love, how about you stay in bed with Mama while I make some breakfast?” Maya offered, but the little girl just pouted, “You can watch some cartoons as well, Pey, just not too loud, don’t wake your mama up.”

That got the little girl to agree as she nodded and practically pushed Maya out of the bed.

When Maya came back to the master bedroom, nearly 30 minutes later, Romeo was curled up between Carina and Peyton, all of them fast asleep. Maya pressed a kiss to everyone’s head (including Romeo to be silly, but he woke up and glared at her making her regret it almost instantly) before crawling in bed on Carina’s side and spooning her wife.

“Why’re you on my side?” Carina mumbled into the pillow, the arms being wrapped around her woke her up.

“The munchkin and your cat have taken up my side,” Maya said as she kissed Carina’s cheek.

“Happy Anniversary, amore,” Carina whispered. Maya responded quickly with, “Happy Anniversary, babe, I love you.”

Suddenly, Maya remembered the breakfast that was definitely getting colder on her nightstand, “I made you breakfast in bed, there’s enough for me and the munchkin to have some, too.”

“What if I don’t want to share?”

“Well, then guess we’ll have to steal it from you,” Maya shrugs as she pulls away from Carina to get the food.

Maya grabbed the food, handed it to Carina, before waking up Peyton softly.

“Bambina, the breakfast is made and if we wait too long mama’s not gonna leave any for us!” Maya exclaimed when the little girl opened her eyes and this immediately caught her attention.

Maya watched as their daughter sat up and quickly managed to get to Carina and steal a pancake.

“Nooo,” Carina started sarcastically, “my pancake! How will I survive now?”

Peyton giggled and Maya snapped a quick picture of the cute exchange. She then sat and listened as her wife and daughter had a conversation in Italian. She had no idea what they were saying, but it was cute. She stole some pancakes, a bite of French Toast.

Carina got a text which pulled her away from her conversation with Peyton and caused her to look at Maya, “Andrea will be here in half an hour.”

“Uncle Andrew is coming!?”

“Yep, then he and you are gonna go on an adventure today!” Maya answered excitedly. They were probably just going to the zoo or something, but all Maya knew was that her and Carina would be getting at least 3 hours alone today. That was all that mattered.

“Yay!” Peyton said excitedly.

“How about, we take a break from breakfast, leave mama with Romeo, and you and I go get you dressed for your adventure!?” Maya offered and Peyton nodded excitedly. Before Maya knew it, the 5 year old was on her back as she was walking across the hall to the lime-coloured room. It was, admittedly, very bright, but the 5 year old loved it so here they were.

After getting the girl dressed, they walked back to the master bedroom just as the doorbell rang.

“He’s a little early,” Maya chuckled, but it was ignored by the five year old running down the stairs to answer the door.

When Maya got down there, she heard a quiet, “You’re not my uncle,” and she saw red, what if it was Ian? Had he escaped prison somehow? She turned the corner to find Peyton talking with Andy. She was thankful it wasn’t a stranger, even more thankful it wasn’t Ian.

“Hey, stranger, what’re you doing here?” Maya asked with a smile. She and Andy hadn’t worked together in a week or two, so seeing her best friend’s face was definitely happy.

“Well, I figured I could wish my Battalion Chief a happy anniversary,” Andy smiled.

“You definitely can. What’s behind your back?”

“Vegan doughnuts,” The brunette smiled and pulled the box from behind her back.

“OH! I want one mommy! Please! Please! Pleeeeeeease!”

“Sure, baby, one, but don’t tell mama,” Maya smiled and the little girl licked her lips before taking one.

Within the next 10 minutes, Andy left, Andrew picked up Peyton, and it was just Carina, Maya, a box of doughnuts, and Romeo, but Romeo was off doing his own thing.

“Bella, doughnuts, too? You spoil me,” Carina smiled.

“Andy got them for us, she finally remembered you’re vegan this time,” Maya explained as she put the doughnuts on the nightstand before lying down next to Carina.

Before Maya knew what was happening, she felt legs come to straddle her hips as Carina got on top of her.

“What’s wrong?” Carina asked with a furrowed brow.

“Nothing,” Maya lied. Unfortunately for her, Carina could tell every time she bluffed, “Liar,” Carina called out and Maya sighed.

“Pey opened the door for Andy before I was downstairs, she said ‘you’re not my uncle,’ and I thought it was Ian at first- it’s stupid, and I don’t want to think about him on our anniversary,” Maya shrugged.

“Mm, Maya do you remember the day we got married?” Carina asked as she pushed some hair out of Maya’s face.

“Of course, it was five years ago today, I remember you looking,” Maya paused to find the word, “Perfect. You looked perfect and I could probably resight your vows right now an-”

“No, no,” Carina chuckled, “When we legally got married?”

“Yeah, uh, you had just come off shift and officially given your two weeks notice. Of course, I remember.”

“I almost said no, but I looked in your eyes and they were so full of love and hope and promise, I knew I wanted to spend a lifetime looking into your eyes,” Carina explained.

“Okay, but what does this have to do with-”

“Even after everything, your eyes still hold the same love and hope and promise unless we’re talking about Ian,” Carina explained before continuing, “He’s arrested, we’re safe, Peyton is safe, and when I look in your eyes I don’t want to see the pain he caused, I want to see the eyes that made me say yes.”

“You want me to just-- stop talking about him?”

“Yeah, Maya, I do. He’s a part of our past. We should leave him there and look towards the future.”

So that’s what they did. Sure, sometimes he was brought up in conversation, but he was left in the past. He might’ve taken Carina for a while, but he didn’t take Maya and Carina’s love or happiness. He hadn’t truly taken anything from them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE END! I'M SORRY IT TOOK A WHILE TO POST BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE STORY!! IT WAS AWESOME TO WRITE AND I WILL MISS IT. I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS EPILOGUE, BUT OH WELL!


End file.
